Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Why guys always chill when it comes to break up ?

Pernah dengar tak ayat ayat macam ni? :
  •  “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her. When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns and cry all night forever. ,” 
  •  “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” 
  •  “Guys just don’t care”

Tapi semua itu adalah tidak betul ! I'll show you some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you

 Breakups are hard on all guys and they also cry ! .  Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about some guy who was an   jackass to her after the relationship fell apart.
The fact is: If a guy is found really terrible after a breakup, it is just testament to how rough the breakup was on him. Some people have to understand

But what about the guy who breaks up and goes totally cold?

This will happen when the girls part make mistake. For example perempuan tu curang, and he is not happy. Thus we the break up occur, he will feel better.

Guys like to keep their emotional  focused on a tight range of emotions. So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid. So he can avoid missing her.

Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold and normal . It’s not that I simply stopped caring. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.

Nothing can help it anymore, especially bila most of it from the ladies mistake . I realize it probably came off jerky, but when I cut off communication, my heart is in the right place.

But what about the guy that immediately gets into a new relationship right afterward?

This is a no-brainer – a guy does this because he doesn’t want to be alone and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.”

Usually when this happen, the guy only want to find rebound and xde feeling sangat pon dgn pasangan baru ini. 

If he jumps into another relationship, he can still maintain his dose of external female touch  ( if you know what i mean )  and self-esteem.

But what about the guy that  just starts hooking up with every girl he sees?

Every guy has a set of core values for who he is, what he stands for, and what he really wants out of life. Sometimes in a relationship, a guy will really, really love a girl and may start to compromise these core values. Maybe he changes his lifestyle, stops hanging out with certain friends, or changes his habits.

It seems innocent enough, but over time the guy lelaki itu akan mula merindui saat saat single dan core value yang dia simpan . It changes the guy  back and, in turn, changes the relationship. As a result,  the relationship usually suffers and, in the case of this example, ends.

When the relationship ends, that guy is forced to evaluate himself – he doesn’t like who he’s become and he doesn’t like the fact that his relationship and his love brought him to this place.

So what’s the solution? Hook up with a bunch of girls and have a series of flings. I mean, think about it – no chance of love, no chance of commitment  and plenty offun he can get.

Problem is, once the guy is done licking his wounds and bila teringat the pain of his past relationship, a feeling of loneliness will set in and hook-ups will seem empty and hollow.

Except of all the above , this is want most of guy handle their break up.

In my opinion, the best thing a guy can do is hang out with his friends after a breakup. Get some male perspective on the situation, forgive himself for what he wishes he did differently and take some time be single.

"Selalunya after break up, lelaki akan lebih sedih dari perempuan. Tetapi , lelaki hanya akan sedih sekejap, dan perempuan akan sedih  lebih lama. Ini sebab perempuan diberi kelebihan untuk menyorok perasaan . Untuk menyorok duka disebalik senyuman, even dia sebenarnya sangat sedih. This is happen because women are born multitasking . So bila perempuan sedih , die x dapat express dengan all out. Perempuan sangat lambat untuk move on. Unlike lelaki, they are direct. when they cry or sad , memang all out dan akan hilang dengan  cepat. "
BUT : in most case scenario . Bila lelaki  cepat move on, nanti lama2 lelaki akan cari exGF itu balik, while perempuan, lambat  move on  , but bila dia move on. She will never goes to her exBF

And Finally , when a guy break up, mostly will become single for a long time. 

And when I say single, I don’t mean single on a man-whore rampage or single because he’s seeing a girl that he doesn’t want to call his girlfriend. I mean single – comfortable with not having an attachment for a while without going to an extreme.
Sooner or later, a guy will come to this place of reconciliation with himself and I think it’s essential that he does before he starts another relationship.

Long story short, if a guy acts extreme after a breakup, it’s his way of dealing with  his emotions about his relationship and relationships in general. Its depend



  1. tak faham sangat dalam2 pasal lelaki. tapi semua org rasanya pernah lalui break up. dan masing2 punya penerimaan n how they go through benda tu lain2. semoga u akan jumpa someone yg boleh buat u lupakan kekecewaan dulu. ;)

  2. Interesting.. Now I know why he act like that after break up .